I want the truth YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

At the last Law Centre session I worked, I had a client who at the end of the meeting asked, "are you a solicitor?" Its not an unusual question, and ordinarily a simple one to answer, but I allowed my practising certificate to lapse and couldn't be holding myself out as one. "I'm non practising but qualified". Client wanted more. "Basically I don't work for a law firm or anyone else at the moment". "Oh. Why not?"

Oh great. one of those.

"I'm currently looking for work and the market is slow".
"Isn't there anything else you can do instead?"

Suddenly my condom postered cubicle felt more like a darkened cell with no windows, and I was being blinded by having a light flashed into my eyes aka the most simple questions with the hardest answers.

"I'm sure there is but there is little work out there generally".

By the two month stage of unemployment, I had started looking at any jobs I could work. Even though accepting that I had to do this was tough in itself, being out of work and earning nothing was not helping my emotional well being and my social life was suffering immensely.

"Oh, I see. Did you go to university and stuff? My sister wants to be a solicitor, is it worth all the years study and expense?"

The interrogation got harder. Swirling in my mind were views from folks who believed that if a person did not have the cash or come from an academic background generally, they should think twice. But who was I to trample on a young girl's dream? And the truth is, even though I was unemployed, that two and a half hours a week where I got out there to meet real clients did make it worth it. Yes, I'm one of those annoying people who is so thankful for even the smallest of things. I had to be. At that time I had nothing.

I wanted to be honest but not depressing. I told client that her sister needs to do as much work experience as possible. That if she really wanted to go to university, she should do so, even if it wasn't to study law, one cannot negate the value of the experience. I also explained the routes of entry to the profession (FILEX, GDL), and said that if her sister was going to go to university, she had to make sure it was the best university she could get into for her chosen field.

It was a chat. It was five minutes. It was draining. Thank F that was over.

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I've not really been sharing much this week. Truth is, lots has happened. The other truth is, that it could all be over. There has been work. There will be payment for it. There will be more news on whether the position continues in the New Year. There have also been interviews, and I will keep you posted.

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I've been stalking again this evening, the boy has been on my mind so I've been googling boy related stuff. The information I found was strangely sparse (considering that there should have been links to the entertainment industry) so I googled myself. I may only have two pages of hits, but they are all me, and build a picture of my last 4 years of existence.

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I've been wondering this week whether it was time to simplify me. Maybe my name is a barrier to people getting in touch because its not the easiest to get a tongue around. I had decided a long time ago that I'd drop the nicknames when I went professional, maybe its time to not be so precious about it. A name is such an important thing...

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I always think that multiple exclamation marks make the writer look a bit manic. Ok, I did it on purpose up there, but I may start adding it in an attempt to seem slightly eccentric. When did I become so conventional? I mean !!!!